You had me right. Most of the time we tend to think that only women are the ones who decide whether the guy is hit it material, relationship material or the dreaded zone that all guys tend to hate, The friends zone!*inserts shudders*. In my 20 something years of existence in this world, I’ve seen a lot of things. And sadly I’ve been friend-zoned a couple of times. There, I’ve finally admitted it! Pheuwx! Feels good to finally have that out of my system! Well as a woman it hurts at times, we don’t dare admit it but we do get ticked off when we are relegated to the friend’s zone. It’s bad for our egos. Yes we do have egos as well and love feeding on compliments we get, not being one of the boys. So I sat down, pondered on what made me end up in the friend’s zone with one guy who I had put in the he can get it zone 6 months ago. Yeah 6 months later I still can’t get over the fact that I had been friend-zoned, I mean I ooze awesomeness! And no, I’m not being vain. Enough rambling let’s get down to business:
•Tomboy-ish traits. I think I was thrown into the friend’s zone because of this. Not that I walk around in jeans, Tim boots or sneakers. Far from it, I think I only own 2 pairs of sneakers and this is because I can’t jog in heels. Unless I knew a guy in a purple suit, haha get it? No? Ok then, moving along swiftly, I hate soap operas, Westlife and such shitty girly music and tend to love HipHop as much as Neo Soul and Jazz still top my list. But I guess when we were kickin it in Mr. Put me on the friend’s zone house and arguing about who was the illest rapper between Twista, Krayzie Bone and Busta Rhymes back in the day made him assume he was talking to one of his boys. Vionna, you should have shut your mouth.
•Laid Back Chic “ You’re so easy to talk to and laid back, you don’t have mad drama or act crazy like some women do.” As he said this I was beaming from ear to ear when he dropped the I like hanging out with you. We can just chill and talk. The fake smile I had as I stabbed his back over and over in my head when he said that.
•You Keep It Real- Dear men, I don’t get it when you say this. So fine, I might jokingly say that woman is hot when she passes or she has a nice ass, you compliment me for keeping it real and not hating then I’m still relegated to the friends zone? How in the name of zones is that possible? You tell me I’m awesome for hating on weaves, keeping it real then start flirting with that friend of mine who owns more weaves than a rancher with a horse stable!
•Flirts Without Benefits- So we would occasionally flirt, to him it was just flirting but sometimes he would send mixed signals and the limbo feeling not knowing if we are still “boys” or more than that gets a tad annoying. When he treats you like his down ass chic! And they say us women are complicated!
•One Of The Boys- And this just means that. One of the boys, I should have gotten the hint when I was introduced to the boys as just Vionna. He wouldn’t mind his boys flirting with me, we’d meet up to watch a football game together. Banter Arsenal together (sigh! Good times those were)But I should have pretended to be the I can’t stand Rugby, football kinda girls.
I could go on and on, but let me stop there. This guy more than hurt my ego if I’m still annoyed about it six months later. I mean who friends zones me, I should be the one friend zoning guys! But sadly ladies, we get friend-zoned too, whether we like it or not. Stop pretending you haven’t been. Yeah I see you! I finally accepted and knew the hurt men go through when we friend zone them, but that doesn’t mean some of the guys in my friends zone’s list will be promoted to he can get it zone. Enjoy the zones ladies, and don’t deny this has never happened to you once in your life. No he’s not gay, we can’t have them all 😉
Peace and Blessings, Vionna