Natural Hair Rant Of A Misplaced Beauty

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This is a natural hair rant post,so please let me get a few things of my hair! Being natural,going back to natural hair is the most amazing experience ever. It’s an emotional journey that leaves you feeling free and your mind decolonized. With that said, I’m very happy that many women are embracing their nappy hair and going back to being natural. There are times when I made the big chop,I got the most stupid comments from my friends. Some would ask me if I was sick,what was wrong,was I too poor to afford relaxers. One even offered to take me to the salon and pay to get my hair done. Please note,all this comments came from black women. Women who have allowed themselves to be brainwashed into thinking that nappy hair makes you look shaggy,”poor”and sick! Why have we become so petty??God didn’t make our African hair nappy for no reason. Why would I want to have fake plastic /horse hair on my scalp,when I can embrace my natural curls?

I’m not done ranting yet. Hair product companies have discovered that natural hair is becoming a sort of movement. They’ve jumped in on the bandwagon. We now have thousands of options for nappy hair,which I totally love, but..and that’s a very big BUT,why would you bombard me with products on how to make my hair grow faster/longer? Did it ever occur to all this natural hair blogs that some people prefer TWAs(teeny-weeny afro)I’m sick and tired of all these rules around,oh you have to use this pudding cream,this type of conditioner ,a certain deep penetrating treatment,blah blah blah bla!Can’t we just be natural without having all these hair products in our face left,right and center? With that said, I’m glad I found the right products for my nappy hair without having to drain my wallet. Get what works for you and just do you. Whether you like your hair short or long,just be happy to be nappy! Let me repost a poem I did 8 years ago..the first time I tried going natural and had all sorts of issues with it! Enjoy!

MISPLACED BEAUTY

I’m stuck in a limbo,
To flaunt my African beauty,
Or hide my African booty?
They say I’m too ethnic, that I’m not authentic
To whose standards, theirs or mine?
So now they’ve got me bleaching my brown skin
I guess true beauty doesn’t come from within
I’m ashamed of my natural locks…they make me to shaggy to get an office job
My spring curled hair
Traumatized with relaxers
For it to be sleek and straight
Forcing me to give in to their bait
You see I’m not doing this out of naivety
But because I am a misplaced beauty

Giving in to their western cultures
My nose is too wide
My lips too luscious
My beautiful African behind too big and flabby for them
My wide African hips that ease my load while carrying their offspring, now too wide for them?!
Mama taught me to be proud of my roots
But now am acting all insecure about my looks
Trying to squeeze in into their mold
Of what true beauty should be…
They end up misplacing my beauty

You see they adored me before, with sweet names like ebony
They rode my hips like a sweet melody
The gap in between my teeth,
Was a marvel for them to see
My kinky afro, made their eyes glow
But then I gave in to their desires
And let them destroy my African beauty
Replacing it with an anorexic, plastic body, skinny looking malnourished African
Damn, I am a shapely African queen
I’m proud of my wide nose,
My big behind
My shapely hips
The gap in between my fine chiseled teeth
ooh my sweet pout lips
I aint getting rid of the cellulite, you see I’ve seen the light
I’m no longer a misplaced beauty
Because I know you are dying to caress
This beautiful African Goddess!

Peace and Blessings,Vionna

Had I Known

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Seven years ago on a day like today..It’s funny how time goes by so fast. They say time heals all wounds, but the loss and pain of a loved one never heals. You just learn to live with it and treasure the memories you had with them. I’m what you would like to call an introvert. I hide my feelings and hurt and always express it through poetry ,cooking or sewing. My dad died on January 5th 2006. It was one of the worst days of my life. He had been sick for a while, I never went to see him in hospital because I wanted my memory of him to be the strong papa who would carry me around as a little girl, not a frail man lying on a hospital bed. The day he kept asking for me, I decided I would go for the evening visit. As I was busy preparing myself that evening, my cousin called me crying saying how sorry he was. I was confused,I looked at my sister crying asking why he was calling to say sorry. That’s when it dawned on me he had died. I was angry at myself,confused in a daze wondering what had just happened. My mum and my other siblings came back home that night, and all I did was lock myself inside the bathroom, thoughts of ending my life too crossed my mind but only managed to cry my heart out. The guilt of not seeing him when I had the chance to ate me up, it still does sometimes. I learned to forgive myself for it recently and to treasure my family and most importantly my mum as much as possible. It has not been easy,but praying to God whenever I feel low,or talking to my mum has always kept me going,and of course poetry whenever I can’t express myself. If only I knew daddy..Forever Missed!    

  Had I known four years ago i wouldn’t have a daddy to call my own.
Had I known that my heart would break slowly,dismantling itself into unrecognizable plots of misery.
Had I known that emptiness would entangle itself upon me with a grip so strong I couldn’t break free.
Had I known that mama would never dance with my father again.
Had I known the pain would haunt and stifle it’s grip on me.
Had I known that I’ll get to walk down that aisle someday without you by my side.
Had I known that i’d never get to call you daddy again and hear u whisper “I love you baby girl”.
Had I known that seven years later,I’d still be shedding tears writing this down on paper.
Had I known,I would have told you how much I love you.
But I didn’t know,I couldn’t fathom the impact it would have on me,with it’s deadly blow.
Had I not known that one day this enemy death will be erased.
Had I not known and held on to the   hope.
But I do know,and it makes my heart glow.
I know,hope and pray,that I’ll get to see your face someday..
For now,I do know i miss you night and day…

I Gave In

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It’s been awhile since I published any of of my poetry here..well today I’m just in the mood to do just that, so here goes…enjoy! (copy written so don’t copy me)

I  GAVE IN

I gave in, I gave in to his caress, to his hands that blessed, undressed every part of my being.

I gave in to his temptation, to his seduction, to each fraction of his lips, I sanctioned him in.

I gave in to the sweet nectar of his juice, my rivers flowed for him, as one our bodies fused, but my heart he bruised.

I gave in to his sweet words that tasted like honey, it’s funny, I didn’t notice how uncanny they felt, but I gave in.

I gave in to his kryptonite, see I was like Superman, and his krypton made me weak, so weak my knees trembled with desire, I gave in to his powers.

I gave in to his waves, his waters carried me on to shore, I wanted more and more. I gave in and let him dive in, dive deep in the waters, breathlessly drowning in his high tide. My feelings I could not hide.

I gave in to his roots, his roots so strong and thick, they held my tree. I didn’t want to break free. I gave in thinking that he was the root to my tree, but he was just a branch, a branch broken by a gust of wind, so swift to last. He had to remain in the past.

I gave in to the sweetness of his forbidden fruit, but his fruit turned out to be Poison Ivy, running through my veins, gripping my heart, breaking it piece by piece.

I gave in to the fantasy, but reality came knocking my door. This man that I adored, I came to abhor.

But he also gave in, he gave in to his deceit. Like the waves and motions, his emotions carried him to a dark place, I had to face, face the fact that he gave in to his desires.

He gave in to taste this pearl, a pearl so bright and precious none had ever tasted. But he wasted that pearl. No longer sparkling in front of his eyes, he gave in to the lies.

And I gave in to his web, like a fly he caught me, entangled and distraught.

I gave in to a moment of pleasure, not a lasting treasure.

Peace and Blessings,

Vionna.

Phenomenal Women

So I haven’t been blogging for a while. A lot has been going on, but I thought it would be appropriate to post this wonderful poem by Maya Angelou that always inspires me. Today being International Womens Day, I just want to wish all the wonderful women out there, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends you truly are phenomenal women and make the world a better place. Happy Women’s day ladies

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Peace and blessings always, Vionna

Perception Africa


September has been one of those months, that we’ve uttered Greenday’s famous line: Wake me up when September ends quite a couple of times, and true to the woes that have come with this month, today we woke up to some very sad news, Prof Wangari Maathai passed away after a long battle with ovarian cancer. Yet she fought for our right to enjoy the breath of fresh air we do in Nairobi. She was a strong woman, who always believed we all can make a difference in the society just by planting trees. When I woke up at 5am today and so the RIP tweets on Twitter,I didn’t want to believe it was true that she had passed away. She was a remarkable woman and I couldn’t help but share a poem I wrote back in 2005 called Perception Africa, she was the first African woman to win the nobel peace prize and helped change the perception people had of our continent. It’s sad that she had to be recognized and appreciated outside, instead of in her own country by the leaders of her country.Kenyans and Africa as a whole have really lost a hero. Because of this poem I wrote six years ago inspired by her, I won a slam competition(but do I shout about it)thought I would share it with you guys

PERCEPTION AFRICA
Third world Africa
Known for its poverty ,hunger and pestilences
They perceive Africa
as a dying continent
The little knowledge they have about Africa is what they see on CNN, SKY or BBC
They focus on our suffering,
How women and children are dying
of war, aids and starvation
They judge us as being a poor nation
Oh! how wrongly they’ve perceived you Africa

They don’t know how rich your soil is
How vast your beauty is
They focus on the killings
But if they could only see how hospitable, loving and caring you really are
I think they would change their perception
If they could only capture that sunrise
or watch the beautiful migration of the wilder beast
Natural beauty for their eyes to feast
they will see how wrongly they’ve perceived you Africa

The mother of all nations
They forgot you sprang forth rich minerals
They don’t remember how painful it was for that child whose legs was blown up
just for them to marvel at the shiny rock on their fingers
a painful song lingers
But you put on a brave face Africa
Ignoring the slanders laid upon you

At least they’ve recognized some of your offspring Africa
how proud you are to have outstanding children
who for their efforts to change their perception about you won the noble peace prize
The likes of Mandela who fought for peace and an end to white minority rule. The likes of Wangari Maathai who fought for our right to live, breathe free and enjoy the shades of the trees, hear the birds chirp while sitting in the park.
Though many haven’t been recognized yet

Sure we are dying of poverty, hunger and AIDS
But how will we move forward
If they keep focusing on your negativity
When will they turn their attention
To the great rift valley
The amazing Victoria falls
The beautiful white sandy beaches
or focus on our unity
our affection
The ever smiling face of a hard-working African
Wouldn’t it be nice if the headlines read:
Africa’s beautiful people
Rather than the war on Sudan?
Or the corruption in Nigeria?
I hope they will change their perception
Africa is a charming continent.
And that’s the right perception!

We can all show our appreciation and honour her by planting trees, and join a worthy cause by @AKenyanGirl on Twitter this Saturday http://akenyangirl.wordpress.com/2011/09/26/wangari-maathai-honouring-her-legacy/

“You cannot protect the environment unless you empower people, you inform them,and you help them understand that these resources are their own, that they must protect them.” … Wangari Maathai. 1940-2011

Peace and Blessings, Vionna

Haters-Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is one of those poets i always look up to,and hope that someday,I’ll be able to be half as good as her.She always has a way with words,I’ve read all her books,and basically I’m just her biggest groupie;-)But there’s this one piece,that I always cherish everytime,I’m going through some things in life,you know when at times criticism seems to get the best of you kinda things?Well this piece always helps me cope abit.Just thought I’d share it with you guys…Enjoy!

Hater/ By Maya Angelou

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their
time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.

They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters…

That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing
you blessed….

It’s dangerous to be like somebody else… If God wanted you to be
like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they
have…

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they
don’t know my story…

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you
can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!

We’ve all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb
(if he / she isn’t about the right thing)
e) Raise your children without both parents being
in the home

Haters can’t stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be
on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
*(VERY IMPORTANT!!)

2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
unfulfilled.

A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

3. By remembering what you have is by divine
prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live…when its your
time to leave this earth, you ‘want’ to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived my
life and fulfilled ‘my’ dreams,… Now I’m ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, ‘Don’t look at
me…Look at Who is in charge of me….’

Maya Angelou

Waves and Motions

It was time to pack up and leave,
Leave the hustle and bustle of the city.
Tired of the choking pollution,the silly commotion
Gasping for some clean fresh air,
Yeah it was time to leave,for some peace and sanity
To find some clarity.
Ease a troubled mind,some tranquility to find.
So the journey began.This was going to be fun.
Sun,sand and beach at last!
Then it happened so fast.wait!Let’s reverse
Let’s take it back,back to the beautiful scenes
The cool breeze,the green Baobab trees..
Some Norah Jones kinda jazzy tunes..
You know the kind that gets you in the mood?
That mood that makes you want to get up to no good,kinda tunes.
Don’t know Why,I just felt He Came Away With me,
The tunes gave me the blues,
All i wanted was to sing his melody,hit the high notes;
Do,Mi so,and end it with aah ma ma mia;-)
Flash forward to the beach,the clean,white sandy beach.
Water lying still as warm drops trickle down my body.Drip!Drip!
Damn!now I was all wet,his sweet touch I felt.
Deep in the very confines of my soul
His waves carrying me off the shores..
But I wanted to drown,drown in the Bermuda of his triangle,
Let him point me in all the horizontal angles.
He rocked my boat just right…
In the still of the night..
We drifted off to the waves of his ecstasy,fulfilling my every fantasy.
Then the thunder became stronger,with every wave it kept rocking our boat.So hard I couldn’t float.
A whirlwind of desire,that ignited my fire.
In the ocean we crashed…
On his waves and motions,we thrashed..
The calm before the storm had me fooled.
But it felt good,like food to a hungry pauper.
I caught his tidal wave as he brought me back to the shore,
I was gasping for more.
The waves and motions lying still.
Yeah,this is the tranquility I needed to feel.
Gazing at the sun setting on the horizon,
The orange rays,reflecting on the waves,
He caught me in a daze.
I hope his tide will be high tonight,to pull me back like a coral reef
So deep in the sea,i can’t get free..
A perfect end to a beautiful vacation,
Learning the beauty of waves and motions……

Peace and Blessings,Vionna.(copy written,so don’t copy me)