Capable Wife


I hardly have time to blog nowadays,but there’s something that’s been itching and burning me up inside lately,I just felt it’s time I got it out of my system. When I was growing up,my mum used to recite Proverbs 31 to my sisters and I. Sometimes I would get so irritated,to a point where I used to think my mother did not love us. Whenever we’d go visiting, my mum would make sure we remember Proverbs 31:27 that says; She is watching over the goings on of her household, and the bread of laziness she does not eat. I can still recite that whole chapter especially that verse by heart. My mother always told us,when you’re invited over for lunch/dinner you’re only a guest for the first 30 minutes,the rest if your ass wasn’t up and headed straight to the kitchen,the beating that would await once you got back home.You wouldn’t be able to sit down for days. I would see other girls my age playing around,and wondering why my mum had us working yet we had a househelp(but those are questions you wouldn’t dare ask out loud)

the good wifes guide

Anyway back to the reason why I had to do this post. Lately I’ve been pitying some ladies younger than me,as well as some of my friends. Most of us have reached that age,where you’re no longer just dating a guy,but you’re dating in the hopes of settling down soon.Let’s not use the word dating,more like courting. What I’ve seen when invited for lunches or sleepover by some of my friends who’ve finally settled down on their own are doing well,is pretty disturbing. It made me call my mum,just to say thank you a million times over for raising me the way she did and for drilling Proverbs 31 in me until it became part and parcel of how I conduct myself nowadays. Maybe it’s the fact that women have this whole I’m independent,you know where the fridge is,get your own damn food attitude thing going on. Ladies please, God wasn’t stupid making the man the head of the house. You should treat a man with respect and make him feel like he is important to you. Let me just share one scenario with you:

Lydia is in love with Simon(names have been changed to protect my safety)They are courting, she invites him and his friend over for dinner,then asks me to come over for the friend not to feel so awkward. House looks like a mess,clothes everywhere,dirty plates on the kitchen sink(mind you,it’s an American design sort of house where the kitchen and sitting lounge are divided by a small sort of bar area,so anyone can see the dirty dishes)I start getting shocked..I call her aside and make up an excuse we need some red wine to marinate the steak in if she can send the boys to get some and hurriedly clear the dishes while they are away.If I was a guy,that’s one point down,but anyway,let’s go on.They come back,you sit down,start chatting them up,leave me the friend in the kitchen cooking.Yes I know after 30 mins I’m not a visitor,but if you’re trying to impress Mr.Man,cook for him,don’t let him compliment your friends cooking.He is planning on marrying you remember?Get your ass in the kitchen and cook for him,show him what to expect in the near future.Finally I finish cooking,call her to serve for her man,she says:”It’s self service,he knows where the kitchen is”.No table set at the dinner table,serve straight from the sufuria ,put hot food on his lap,and that’s it. By this time I was about to strangle her and shake her back to reality. He asks to use the bathroom,then slowly comes back and asks her:”Do you have water problems here?” Confidently she says:”No! Not all,why do you ask?” I slowly went to the bathroom to check for myself. A woman’s toilet should never and I repeat never ever have stains like it’s a communal toilet!I went back to the sitting room quietly,her Mr.Man made some flimsy excuse that he had an early morning meeting and they left. She wondered what was wrong,when I tried to tell her she needs to style up,she got mad for weeks on end.But at least I told her.

Ladies, screw this whole we live in the 21st century bullshit attitude. A man is still a man,whether you like it or not,he will still want to be treated the way his mother treats him. I used to wonder why my mum,no matter how tired she would be from work,whether it’s 9pm,she would never allow the maid to cook for my dad. She would always do it,and the heartwarming smile on my dad’s face said it all. The fact that she made an effort,showed him she cared. My mum is the epitome of the capable wife described in Proverbs 31,especially verse 30:”Charm may be false,and prettiness may be vain,but the woman who fears God is the one that procures praise for herself.” I pray and hope to one day be like her. Like my mama always says,the most ugly trait a woman could ever have is laziness. Whatever century you think you might be living in ladies,the ratchet behaviour is wanting. Strive to be the capable wife mentioned in Proverbs 31.

Peace and Blessings,Vionna!



  1. Oh who will find us a religion where it’s not the woman’s sole duty to serve her husband? Or one where the man has not been ‘appointed’ head of the house?

    That being said I do not encourage laziness and when someone is a guest in your house, surely you should welcome them. But I do not take it as my sole duty to cook and clean for a man.

  2. I personally thank my mum for raising me the same way. Do you know how much traditional african woman culture is adhered to. I never got to appreciate that fact till I moved here. Am away from home and most of my guy friends are in awe at how when they come to my house I make them a meal, regardless of our relationship status. Men like being taken care of and that’s how I was raised. They do not take it lightly. Now, I realize how important that part of my upbringing is. I am dating a Kenyan here in the US and he says I remind him of home and how he appreciates the smallest things (the ones I’ve been raised to do and the ones that come easily). I doesn’t matter the century we are in men from a century back have not changed in mannerism and how they would want to be treated. Let’s embrace our traditional african woman culture.

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