A little too late

It’s always a little bit too late when we realize something or when we lose someone and we never got to mend a broken friendship and will never get a chance to, because they died too soon. As I write this, a friend of mine is lying cold in a morgue thanks to the animal of a man she claimed to love. The man who used her as his punching bag, verbally abused her and made her feel as if she was nothing. I wrote about her sometime in May last year. A blog post entitled Words I said https://vionnaswatching.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/words-i-said/ she was being verbally abused at the time and the guy really made her believe that she was nothing more than his punching bag. We had a fallout with her sometime late last year. See, the last time, she was beaten up real bad we thought she finally came to her senses and realized it was time for her to leave before things got out of hand. Well, a few weeks later after that, I bumped into her hand in hand with that monster. I can’t and I wont call him a man because he’s not worthy to be called that. He’s a coward who should have picked on someone his own size, not a woman whom he knew won’t fight him back. So she called me after we met and told me he had really changed and everything was well. We had an argument after that and I remember the last words I told her that day was, “the next time, you will come back in a casket if you think such a monster can change.” Little did I know those words would come true yesterday. We stopped talking after that incident, sometimes I would be tempted to call her up, but something inside me always vexed me to a point I couldn’t pick up the phone and talk to her. I always felt like shaking her back to reality. I wish I did make that call. But I know there’s nothing I would have done to prevent what happened. She made her choices in life, she decided she wanted to stay with him, and unfortunately the choices she made cost her, her life. When her sister called me yesterday, I knew immediately something was wrong. She always used to call me when my friend was in really bad shape and couldn’t even talk on the phone. She was in tears as she tried to tell me what happened. Her sister came back home late that night, and by late I mean 7pm due to traffic at the ferry(anyone who uses ferries to cross to the other side knows how crazy traffic gets)so the monster left, went drinking came back started beating her up, she was trying to run out of the house, when he flung her from the stairs, fell and fractured her skull. That was the end of her troubled love life.

I was angry, shocked and hurt at the same time when I heard the news. Still trying to come to terms with it, but it’s a bit hard to fathom her death at the moment. Ladies, one should never be a statistic. I never thought one of my friends would be one. When a guy as much as slaps you, those are warning signs that warn you of the danger ahead if you continue down that path of making excuses for him. A man who verbally abuses you, will make you feel worthless and in turn start believing you deserve what you get. Don’t lead yourself to believe that it really doesn’t hurt you, or believe that you only hurt yourself. Don’t believe every time he says he’s sorry or be ashamed to tell someone you need help. I got this quote yesterday from Christopher Robin to Pooh Bear:” Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you think, and smarter than you think.” Get out of that relationship before it’s a little bit too late.

Peace and Blessings, Vionna

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21 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry about your friend. May she R.I.P

    Sometimes I get a tinge impatient with women who stay especially in the face of such extreme abuse but I know that other than blame them for it, I should thank God for my strength. I’m sure if someone close to me got as far as killed it would hit me in the face that its not always easy to leave.

    Pole sana mami.

  2. It’s just sad. Such stories give me this bad feeling, a sinking feeling in my stomach. It’s like drug addiction. No matter how bad you want to help someone, it means zero unless they too want to get out of it. And it seems, getting out isn’t as easy as it may seem to the stronger ones of us.

  3. Don/t feel bad about not doing enough, You might of found out the ugly truth about the court system. I helped my daughter get out of an abusive relationship just so the court system could put her back in it because the father had rights to the children. There are arrest reports of domestic violence even towards his on dad but this s.o.b. had more money and got a better lawyer. My daughter has been used as a doormat and sounds like it in court. She could not speak mean enough about this jerk. The courts only care about their own pockets getting filled not about the children or the women.

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