Single Husbands

My beautiful people, I know, I know I’ve developed some bad habits when it comes to blogging nowadays, but forgive me. My writing mojo has been on an all time low lately, but something that’s I’ve observed lately has stirred up my writing nerves much that I just had to blog it out. This year has had more drama than a hospital scene in a Mexican soap opera for me, but there has also been some ups to it. It’s the year most of my age-mates and friends have tied the knot or are about to, and it’s one of those years I’ve attended more baby showers than concerts. When is she going to get to the point, you say? Sorry I tend to digress much(bad habit)on with it then. Recently I bumped into a former classmate of mine, we were catching up about life and what not, when I asked her about how she must be enjoying the joys that come with married life,she broke down in tears and started venting about her husband. You see, she’s married to what I love to term a single husband. This single husband is one who is in denial that he actually is married and acts like a bachelor. The reason I’m writing about this is because most of the time, us women ignore this signs that are always visible way before we commit to someone. I’m no relationship guru, heck I’m not even married to begin with,but just like my blog says, Vionna likes to watch, and this is what I’ve observed from my short time(I insist) in this world. Signs you are married to a single husband:

1.His weekend itinerary doesn’t include you or the kids. He’s out Friday night with the boys till wee hours of the morning, a nyama plot again with the boys at Kikopei on Saturday, checks in on Sunday, sleeps most of the time, throws the kid up in the air a few times when he wakes up consoling himself he’s spend time playing with them. Calls his boys up if there’s football, you won’t see his ass back home till late at night. Honey, sorry to say but that man right there is a single husband. He seems to have misplaced the memo that came with the things change once you’re married title.

2. Most of his “boys” are single guys who don’t have any responsibilities whatsoever. They can party till six in the morning, go back home shower and continue partying some more, yet he convinces himself he just likes to hang out with the young guys.
I’m not saying if you are married you should not hang out with your single friends, but have a balanced limit to it.

3.He doesn’t respect the Visa application requirements.
You know that visa that after marriage he always needs to apply for if he is going out with the guys beforehand? If he just calls you up oh I’m not coming back home soon don’t wait up for me. That is trouble right there. He seems to forget what time his visa expires and if he is eligible to renew it or not. (By the way if you don’t know what a visa is, when it comes to marriage terms, I will pray for you)

4. He really is popular with the female species
and when they meet you, they always have that shocked oh didn’t know so and so was married look. He’s the champion of all flirts, his Twitter or Facebook page has more female friends than guys all up there calling him sweet pet names and all…errm honey he should know by now he already found out where he needs to be, with you and not acting like he is on a mission to bag women from social networks.

5. Whenever his phone rings, you would think he suddenly works for the CIA, he dashes to the room, locks it up (as if the sound would penetrate through the keyhole) while speaking in a low tone. He never wants you to know his whereabouts for some reason only he knows
What I’m trying to say most of this single husbands, are guys who were never really keen on settling down but circumstances, age catching up or pressure from family (especially mothers) and friends got the best of them. Though sometimes we ladies tend to ignore the signs. If you are going for a long road trip, and the fuel gauge is half empty, do you wait for it to start blinking for you to re-fuel or for it to suddenly stop in the middle of nowhere then you start panicking? Of course not, you always take precautions beforehand make sure the car is in good condition, the tank is full before you embark on your road trip. If only most of us women would apply the same thing when it comes to seeing this signs before you end up tied down married to a single husband with kids. Ladies, you can NEVER change a man. So before you start whining to your friends about the single husband you are married to, remember this are signs you saw before hand. A wise woman once told me, Vionna when the time comes and you decide to get married, always marry a man who loves you more than you love him. You know why, because a man who loves you more, will treat you and love you like a queen, but if you force issues with a man, then you will end up married to a single husband. But before it reaches that point that you end up with a single husband, there always signs to know you are in a vague relationship. I will do a post about that soon. For now excuse me as I go bask on the beach and enjoy the lovely sunny weather. The lovely view in front of me..ahem!
(I just had to throw that in there)

Peace and Blessings always, Vionna

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6 Comments

  1. Aha!

    I know a couple of guys who exhibit most if not all the traits mentioned. It’s sad. I think family is a special unit that should come first in everything. It doesn’t matter who the friends are or how far you’ve come…

  2. Most of the men I have ever dated in the past are very immature and selfish. It is sad that after marriage they don’t know how to give up their ways and grow up and be a man. If they haven’t learned it from a parental figure they may never learn it. After all, can you teach an old dog new tricks?

  3. I wish this a article was out when I got married. I am contemplating on divorcing my single husband. He claims he doesnt want to be single but his action speaks volumes. We have been married for 9 yrs and our continued argument has been him goin out to the clubs. 2 yrs ago he started deejaying and has become really good but it also gave him an excuse to live single on the weekends. Everything hit the fan after I had our 2nd child and I caught trying to cheat. And after 9 months of being home he brought up going back to deejaying, the same environment that he got caught up in the first place. He said this time we will plan family weekends and he’ll dj only some week nights but then ask how i felt about him deejayjng in Spain. ( we’re Army family and live in Germany ) for a weekend to make $1000. No amount of money is worth my marriage but obviously it is to him. that and girls throwing themselves at him. He said he will give it up for me and the kids but I want him to do it for him. If he can’t understand why he needs to act like a father and husband then he will resent me for it. Enough is enough. Now he’s trying to do right but because he is about to lose me and the kids. And I gave him so many excuses over the years when he just went out as a club goer, or when his unit had events and leave me with the kids. im 34 yrs old and know what in want and tired of putting up suth be disrespected. i feel stuild but you live and learn and move on. Smh thank you for this article.

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