Bushes And Sumo Wrestlers Tendencies

A certain incident this week inspired me to write this post. This is to do with my waxing escapades. I’m going away for a vacation soon, to get some sun, sand and relaxation on the beach. You know I just had to rub it in abit…:-)Anyway, enough gloating, back to hairy matters at hand! So I decided to go for my monthly waxing {I believe I was a hairy mutant in a past life} in readiness for my beach wearing attires. It’s always one of those tasks, that I’m sure many women will agree with me when I say, we would rather pass if need be. So I set up an appointment and went in a little bit early at the beauty parlor, since it’s one of those things I always need to prepare myself mentally for the pain. I sat at the reception, reading my book away, when one of the beauticians came and sat next to me, with a client who was there explaining why she hadn’t been around the Beauty parlor for some time. Not that I was eavesdropping,okay maybe i was.. but her reasons made me laugh and I just had to get in on their conversation. Apparently, she broke up with her boyfriend some months back, so she didn’t see any reason to come ahem get her hedges trimmed and what not! To me, that was just one of the silliest excuses I had ever heard! Allow me to rant here a bit. Either I missed the memo, but why does one need to be in a relationship to either have a smooth hedge, or a bushy forest?

I was so worked up by this mentality, so SOME women {notice the emphasis on some} actually believe that waxing and what not, should only be done when you’re in a relationship or going on vacation somewhere! The conversation got so heated, and turned into another topic altogether. Should women only wax, buy sexy lingerie when there’s a man involved? So one lady started saying how she hates it when her husband is around, because she always has to wear thongs and corsets for him! I was about to have a heart attack, she wears thongs for him. Please note, not for her, but for him! Personally, I hate thongs. Yeah I said it! Thongs should have been left where they belonged: on sumo wrestlers!
They are like dental floss for the arse, not that I don’t wear them once in a while. Some satin dresses can only be worn with thongs{though I prefer wearing none in this case*inserts naughty grin*}I’m not saying women should wear scary stomach holding grandma Avril like pants,
that could shelter a small family from the rain, but there are cute French knickers that are so comfy, yet have a sexy look to them.

As for corsets, I just told that lady she really must love her husband. I wear corsets once in a long while, most of the time corsets feel like body armors.

I love the way they make a lady look all sexy and push the twins up, but ladies, men can barely even master removing bra straps, let alone this body armour, that can be so frustrating when you trying to get them off in the heat of the moment! I’m not saying that women should go all Nyati orange torn T-shirts to bed. God no! I remember a friend of mine who always used to rant how his wife,on their first year of marriage was all Playboy Bunny wearing every night to bed, once the honeymoon phase was over, she went back to her PNU blue torn Tees, stockings on her head, thick socks like she was going to Alaska while sleeping and those worn out tracksuits to bed! And that’s where my point came in, the problem with us ladies, if you keep doing something to please someone, it reaches a point where you get tired of it, and slip back to your comfy self! I go for my waxing, every month because I love a smooth hedge, regardless of whether I’m in a relationship at the time or not… I asked one of the ladies there, so what would happen if she was to bump into an Adonis of a man one night, and desires checked in and BAM! Adonis has to clear the forest to get to clear land! Ladies, you never know when the craving will strike, you always gotta be prepared. When you do something for yourself, it becomes part of your routine. You won’t reach that part where you’ll go like ah screw it! I’m tired of pleasing him! Sometime back I was in need for some retail therapy, so I decided to splurge on some sexy red lingerie, not for any special occasion, just decided to reward my twins for behaving really well and growing a cup bigger! There’s a conversation in the movie Eat, Pray, Love that really stuck in my head, it goes like: When you’ve undressed in front of a man, has he ever asked you to leave? No, right? Because he doesn’t care. He’s with a naked girl; he’s just won the lottery! Back to our heated debated at the beauty place, some of the ladies started seeing my point of view, I really hoped that somehow, I had managed to convince even one of them, that it takes pleasing you first, to make pleasing your better half that more worthwhile! Do something just because you enjoy doing it. Not that I enjoy the pain from waxing, or threading my eyebrows, but I shudder to think how much of a bush baby I would look if I didn’t do it! And men are not as stupid as we think ladies; they know when you’re doing something just to please them. I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t put an effort to look good, but do it for you, not for anyone else. Men really don’t care, a guy friend of mine once told me after all, all those will end up in the floor a few seconds later.. Think about it, if you give someone a gift, they hardly go on and on about how lovely the wrapping paper is. Most of the time the paper is torn into pieces and ends up on the floor, the same goes for your undies, you are the Gift, that he was dying to get to. So if you single and you’ve been eyeing that lingerie for sometime, yet waiting for Mr. Right to come, just get it for you, and prance around your room with it. Please yourself before you try pleasing others…and I mean that in every way possible*letting your mind wander*:-)

Peace and Blessings, Vionna

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4 Comments

  1. You know how you go to church and after the sermon you go: that word was for me. It’s almost like the preacher was talking to me directly. You know that feeling?

    This blog was for me. I am guilty as charged. My upkeep and grooming is directly related to my boyfriend. We don’t see each other often, we are both in jobs that require much travel. But I know I’ll be spending time with him say a weekend, I go all out. Mani-pedi, eyebrows, and even the hairy matters described above. I get a new top, basically I just go all the way to look good for him.

    On the flipside, when things are not working out between us, I let myself go. I just make sure my hair looks good (bad hair days literally depress me). It’s little wonder then, that when things are best between us I get other suitors.

    From now on, I’m doing it for me. I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR.

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