So today is the day i love to hate.February the 14th..the day people spend lavishly to have sex and lie to each other..I just don’t celebrate things because people do,I always like to know what the hell I’m celebrating..which brings me to Valentines,i don’t want to bombard you with the whole bullshit(forgive my French)of where Valentines came from,y’all can google that if you want..but all I know is No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.So where were we?oh,back to killing that stupid kid cupid,with its arrows.I’m sure most sane women and men out there,know that you don’t need a freaking day in a year to spend it on a woman or a man..so ladies and gents,join me in killing cupid this day.Love is already complicated as it is,we don’t need Valentines day making it worse!
Guys,you know I got your back like a wet tshirt..I’m with you on this..=).If you didn’t manage to break up with her,before this day,then I’m sorry there’s little we can do to help..that being said,the day is still young enough,we can find a way for you to do it!
1.Play the Bipolar card guys,always works and she will still forgive you for it,coz she understands your sick emotionally(I doubt Eminems girlfriend expects anything from him this day.Bipolar baby!works like a charm)
2.Be philosphical,tell her you don’t celebrate any holidays that have pagan links to it..i mean cupid was a greek god of love or some shit like that.thats pagan right there!
3.Be deceitful..Darling,my love for you cannot be measured in a day,364 days are not even enough for me to show you how much I love you,lets not let the world show us how to love..(pantyremover right there)
Sane Ladies,not to worry,i know men nowadays tend to be emotional and will expect to be shown some love today,but at least they never expect to be showered with gifts and what not,so I wont give you reasons to lie to them today…Save that guy the heartache of spending all that cash on you for a freaking day,when you can make him spend it on you for a freaking year..Today is just another Monday for me,yep I’m a cheap girlfriend like that;-)I’m sure to all the SPAVS out there,your tired of the happy valentines day tweets,updates like I am,and the women buying themselves roses and wearing red everywhere around town(rural swag right there)I’ve been living with a French couple for the past one week,and i tell you they find it so stupid that Kenyans make a big deal out of this holiday,yet to them it’s just a normal day..I couldn’t agree with them more,we adopted a western holiday that lives many bankrupt,and heartbroken,yet to them,it’s just another Manic Monday!I know many think that all who are Anti-Valentine are single bitter people,well i can tell you one thing,I’m far from single,and couldn’t be more happier,I’m just a Sane Person Against Valentines..Let me leave you all with a poem i found that just made my day today:Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove something up Cupid’s ass.
I’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet, but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Cause I think this love thing is a crock of shit.
So, here’s my story… what else can I say?
Love bites my ass… Fuck Valentines Day!